“Should we renovate or should we move?”
It’s the question I hear most often from growing families. The house that worked perfectly when it was just the two of you, or when you had one toddler, suddenly feels too small or too dysfunctional now that there are more people, more stuff, more life happening under one roof.
The knee-jerk answer is usually “we need to move.” But sometimes – not always, but sometimes – the answer is actually “we need to make this house work better.”
The Family Who Stayed
Almost five years ago, I sat down with a family of of six. They were convinced they needed to move. The house felt too small. The layout wasn’t working. They were constantly tripping over each other, running out of storage, feeling cramped.
We went through a series of questions I walk every buyer and seller through – questions that get to the heart of what home actually means to them. And somewhere in the middle of that conversation, something shifted.
The home they were describing – the one they wanted to move to – sounded a lot like the home they already had. The neighborhood they loved. The proximity to family. The backyard where their kids played every day. The community they’d built.
I told them honestly: moving is going to remove a lot of what you just described. And it will be difficult to fill the emotional bank your home has right now.
So instead of listing their house, we walked it together. We looked at the pain points. We talked through how spaces could shift to accommodate their life better. We explored where they could add or change things to make it more functional.
They decided to renovate.
Over the past five years, they’ve added built-ins to their dining room, which also serves as their homeschool room. They renovated the kitchen to have more storage and better flow. They updated bathrooms. And most recently, they expanded their family – literally and figuratively – by adding a game room over the garage that serves as a flex bedroom and hangout space.
They didn’t need a different house. They needed their house to work differently.
How to Think Through Renovate vs. Move
This decision isn’t one-size-fits-all. What makes sense for one family doesn’t make sense for another. But here’s the framework I walk families through when they’re trying to figure out the right path forward.
Start With What’s Not Working (And Why)
Before we talk about budgets or comps or timelines, we talk about what’s actually broken. Not surface-level complaints, but root needs.
Is it truly a space issue, or is it an organization issue? Is the kitchen too small, or is it just poorly laid out? Are you out of bedrooms, or do you need the bedrooms you have to function better?
Sometimes what feels like “we’ve outgrown this house” is actually “this house isn’t set up for how we live now.” And that’s a very different problem to solve.
Look at How Spaces Can Shift
Once we know what’s not working, we walk the house and look at possibilities. Could the dining room become a dedicated homeschool space? Could you convert the garage into a game room? Could you reconfigure the kitchen to add a pantry? Could built-ins solve the storage problem?
I’m not a designer or a contractor, but I’ve been in enough homes and renovated my own, to see patterns and possibilities. And sometimes all it takes is looking at the space differently to realize there’s potential you hadn’t considered.
Run the Numbers
This is where we get practical. We look at the market and see where homes similar to what yours could become are selling. We look at what those homes sold for in the past to gauge appreciation. We look at what it would cost to get your house there.
Then we ask: does the return make sense given the amount of time these changes would afford you in this house?
If you’re planning to stay another 10 years, spending $100K on a renovation that adds $80K in value might make perfect sense. If you’re planning to move in two years, it probably doesn’t.
Factor in the Emotional Weight
This is the part most people don’t talk about, but it’s often the most important.
What does this house hold for you? What would you lose if you left? What are you hoping to gain if you stay?
Real estate is financial, yes. But it’s also deeply emotional. And ignoring that reality doesn’t make for good decisions. It makes for decisions you regret later.
The life you live in and around your home matters. The proximity to family. The neighborhood rhythms. The community you’ve built. The memories embedded in the walls.
Those things have value. They might not show up on a spreadsheet, but they show up in your daily life. And they need to be weighed alongside the budget and the square footage and the market data.
Understand the Renovation Reality
If you’re leaning toward renovating, we also walk through what that actually looks like. The timeline. The process. The reality of living through construction.
Some families are completely comfortable with it. Others realize halfway through the conversation that they don’t have the bandwidth or patience for it right now.
There’s no judgment either way. But it’s important to know what you’re signing up for before you commit.
Ask If It’s Really About the House
Here’s the hard question: if the reasons you want to move are location, proximity, or commute, then renovating probably doesn’t make sense.
You can’t renovate your way into a better school district. You can’t add square footage to fix a 45-minute commute. You can’t build an addition that puts you closer to aging parents.
If the issue is where the house is, not what the house is, then moving is likely the right answer.
The Truth About This Decision
Most of the time, this isn’t just about the stats, it’s about what season of life you’re in. What you’re holding onto. What you’re afraid of losing. What you actually need versus what you think you need.
And here’s what I’ve learned after years of walking families through this: there’s no universal right answer. Only the right answer for you, for your family, for this season.
My job isn’t to sell you a house or convince you to renovate. My job is to help you see clearly. To ask the questions that get to the root of what you actually need. To walk through the options honestly and help you make the decision that serves your family best.
Sometimes that means renovating. Sometimes that means moving. Sometimes it means doing nothing for another year while you figure out what you actually want.
If You’re Wrestling With This Decision
If you’re standing in your house right now wondering whether you should stay or go, whether you should renovate or move, I’d be honored to help you think it through.
We’ll walk your home. We’ll talk through what’s not working and why. We’ll look at possibilities. We’ll run the numbers. We’ll factor in all the things that matter, the practical and the emotional, the financial and the relational.
And we’ll figure out the right path forward. Together.
No pressure. No agenda. Just clarity and problem solving.
Reach out when you’re ready. We’ll start with a conversation and see where it leads.
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